Last night we celebrated my father-in-law’s 80^th birthday amid family and friends. He is a man who revels in the joys of life – freshly caught crabs, dancing to Sinatra, a scotch on the rocks, egging on his five grandchildren, a party in his honor. He can certainly look back on his 80+ years and know he lived and loved enthusiastically and unabashedly.

And isn’t that all any of us can hope for – a life well lived, the love of friends and family with whom to share it?

It’s a healthy reminder to be intentional about how we spend our time. We’ve all heard the adage: Nobody on their deathbed has ever said, “I wish I had spent more time at the office.” And even though many of us find our work stimulating and rewarding, it’s still not everything.

Entrepreneur Sahil Bloom suggests making a list of things you know you would regret on your deathbed – and then designing your life in a way to avoid those. For instance, he calls out “not spending enough time with my kids during the magic years” and “wasting precious time stressing about stupid things” – and he is deliberate about taking actions to prevent these potential regrets.

Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life, the old saying goes. Finding purpose in my work has helped me stay motivated to devote energy and effort. I recall fondly launching the Impact Science program at IBM Research. We focused on applying deep expertise to the most pressing problems facing society and the world – like the future of health, the future of work, the future of climate, and social justice. I found this role especially rewarding as the goals aligned with my values and I felt pride in the mission.

As a thought-provoking counter argument, Sarah Jaffe’s book Work Won’t Love You Back challenges the work-as-a-labor-of-love concept. Recent corporate belt tightening, return-to-the-office mandates, and tech layoffs remind us that a job is not an identity and coworkers are not family. My recent transition away from a demanding Fortune 50 C-suite leadership role has allowed me to recognize the challenging relationship that many have with corporate jobs and the intriguing alternatives that exist.

Former IBM CEO Ginni Rometty is famous for saying “growth and comfort never coexist.” While Ginni typically used this to encourage employees to go after new corporate experiences – an assignment in another division, a different country, a promotion – the same can hold true for more radical life changes.

In fact, it can be healthy to try new things. It disrupts your status quo, gets you out of your comfort zone, allows you to learn and grow, and often enables you to apply skills and experiences to new domains. It can be uncomfortable – whether it’s playing pickleball for the first time (just tried it!), learning to ballroom dance (I’m terrible!), taking up acrylic painting (love it!), or getting on a new career track. Nevertheless, in my experience, it’s worthwhile to persevere.

Recently, I returned to the classroom, for the first time as a professor. I have a great appreciation for teachers and the long-standing impact they can have on students’ lives. My grandfather was a math teacher, my husband is a social studies teacher, and my daughter is studying to become a math teacher. I admire them all. I’ve really enjoyed engaging with Cornell Tech graduate students and discussing ways in which they can prepare to be effective leaders during crises – concepts and perspectives I wish I had known a few decades ago before being thrown into the fire and learning by trial and error.

I’ve become intrigued by the concept of a portfolio career, which consists of a mix of different employment options – consulting, advising, teaching, investing, speaking, writing, and more. I like the flexibility, the diversity, and the autonomy this offers.

A portfolio career creates space and time to be deliberate, pursue purpose, and find balance. Of course, the question is how best to use that time. For me, I’m always active, making lists, focused on getting things done. My default speed is really fast. This can be quite useful. If something needs doing – I’m your woman. I’ll figure out a way. I fully expect “Got sh*t done” to be the epitaph on my gravestone.

But it’s not always good or healthy. While I’m running really fast – what am I missing? It can become an obsession. Some call it the business of busyness or toxic productivity or hustle culture. Celeste Headlee’s book Do Nothing explores the unrelenting emphasis on efficiency. She suggests a different path that prioritizes well-being and refocuses on meaning. Haemin Sunim’s book The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down reminds us of the importance of slowing down in our fast-paced world.

I admit this isn’t easy. It feels unnatural to me to be idle, to sit still, to ponder. I’m eager to cross something off my to-do list. I’m wired to move.

But I realize that slowing down can foster creativity and improve health. It can spark fresh ideas, allow us to be thoughtful and present, and help us to live without regrets.  

Today, I raise a glass to my father-in-law on his 80^th birthday and remind us all to slow down, live with purpose, try new things, love fiercely, take care of our bodies and our minds, and do all we can to get to a ripe old age without regrets.